Ted Baker Ottoman Experience – Extreme Grooming

by WorldAccordingtoSamHughes

Processed with VSCOcam with c1 presetBefore I continue I think I must make it clear that it was the husband that was being groomed here – not me and whilst my hirsuteness may have increased over the past few years I am not yet in need of a Turkish barber with his arsenal of trimming, burning and cutting weapons of mass reduction!

Cut A Dash at The Ted Baker Ottoman Lounge on Theobalds Road, EC1 is the full works whereby a man puts himself in the hands of a skilled, master barber but this is not for the faint hearted.  Real cut throat razors are used along with flaming tapers to singe hair.  On arrival we are shown downstairs to the Ottoman Lounge, a basement bedecked in  funky wallpaper depicting scissors and cut-throat razors interwoven with Byzantine vines, Turkish coffee and Efes beer are offered up whilst we wait to be shown to the barber’s chair …. lush, traditional leather seats built for comfort. The shop fit is very much Ted Baker, traditional with a quirky twist

Processed with VSCOcam with c1 presetOnce sat in the colossal seat at the Carrera marble vanity unit, so begins the barbering ritual.  After covering up, the head is thrust into a basin, which is pre-fragranced with lemon balm,  a brusque shampoo followed by a rub down with a towel something akin to dog-drying.  This treatment is not for wusses!! Our barber sets to work, nimbly trimming, clipping and shaping hair …. nothing looks precise but it is …. one of the neatest and most thorough haircuts I have ever seen Mr H have,

IMG_4528Another dousing at the lemon balmed sink and back up again to be wrapped in a steaming fragrant towel (it looks like Mr H is grimacing here due to the intensity of the heat, but not sure!) for face kneading and on to commence the removal of facial hair. Plenty of sudsy lather is applied with a traditional badger  brush and then the dangerous part ….. out comes the cut throat razor and the barber deftly clears all facial hair ….. followed with the flaming taper which is run over the skin, exploring both ear and nose orifices on its journey, one almost expects to smell pork crackling ….. Mr H explains later that there was a definite sizzle to this step but was not uncomfortable.  Then on to trimming and threading of eyebrows …. here my heart sinks as I have a terror of men’s eyebrows looking over styled, there is something rather emasculating about eyebrows that are shaped and arched (think Bobby Cole Norris on TOWIE!), but I need not have worried the end result is just a cleaner line, groomed rather than preened.  Another mummification in a steaming towel whilst slowly broiling and a rather brusque arm massage.  Another slathering of the astringent lemon balm certainly lifts Mr H from his state of near slumber (were he a fighting man I think he may well have taken a swipe at his barber assailant).  The whole treatment comes to an end with a firm pummelling of the back, neck and shoulders  ,,, I imagine these guys go home free from tension having taken all the days woes out on their client sat in the seat before them

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And the good news is Mr H can’t wait for the next time …brilliant gift for your significant other!

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